i saw the garden state last night with bianca. i hadn't seen her all summer because she stole away to camp in pennsylvania. the movie was great and nice to look at and the music was even better. afterwards we went to second cup and talked about our fear of commitment and platonic love. also of the possibilities of an exchange in january to london. we started to giggle and sit up a little straighter. it made me excited. nothing could be so exciting as a new start. and to go with somone familiar from home would make it less daunting than being in a foreign country, alone. i don't want to be let down this time by my lack of focus and dedication and if bianca is involved it will push me harder to make that extra step. i think of all the adventures that could possibly play out and think that all of europe is a weekend drive away. my head starts to draw lines and plans that make a blueprint of what i want my life to be like. i would like to follow through this time.

"i remember one morning, getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. you know, that feeling? and i remember thinking to myself, so this is the beginning of happiness. this is where it starts. and of course there will always be more. never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning....it was happiness. it was 'the moment'. right then." - the hours