i knew i would regret that last post. and it's exactly how i wanted to feel. i feel like if i put all the stupid, self-centered, vain thoughts down for others to see or hear it will keep me from dealing with it when i'm forty. it makes me aware of how rediculous it sounds to feel uncool or not good enough or not pretty. it's a waste of time and everytime i say the words it just reminds me of pathetic groveling for a damn compliment. and that is something i do not want to do. so when i say don't say anything please don't. don't encourage the behavior. because if you're silent my ego will be forced to mend itself.

it sounds to me like i'm trying to sound like a better person than i really am. i need to learn how to write. i'm going to try to be less serious about myself for awhile.

p.s.:
sarah and nicole: thanks for the comments even though i told you not to comment!
kathy: thanks for the phone call...
i heart you girls.