last night was the most depressing party i've ever been too. too many people i didn't know and too many people that didn't know how to drink. people passed out or throwing up on the lawn and a girl throwing up and screaming and crying in a bedroom. the girls parents came, so did the paramedics as well as the police.
and everyone wanted to get in on the excitment and drama. people this girl didn't know were flocking around and acting like someone was hit by a bus. i'm not saying that it's a bad thing to be concerned or help out but there should really just be a few close friends around to take care of her. not to be some stranger who wants to look heroic.
it's amazing how much we tend to hurt ourselves. it's no wonder society thinks we're stupid. you have a good life, food in your stomach, clothes on your back but if you want to have a good time you've got to pratically kill yourself with every drug out there. i'm not saying i'm against drinking but really...where did all this angst come from?
i think it's because we want to feel like there's still blood pumping in our bodies.
and you never feel more alive then when you're hurting.

.
for halloween i'm going to be a hooker from the 40's.
i'm going to dress up in pearl and lingerie and garters.
i'm going to wear rouge on my lips and smoke cherry-flavored cigars.

you know what i like about nscad? that i can sit in the middle of the lounge hemming my jeans by hand and no one thinks it's wierd.
thanks to darcy for sharing a lovely morning of library, rice pudding and antique shopping with me
i don't really have anything to write...."today is just a creative black hole"
bianca and i are going to explore the world of short film making.
exciting!
and we're are hopefully going to be purchasing a button maker very very soon!

can anyone help me with my craft history essay?
would you rather buy a very expensive hand made teapot from a local artist or do you think it's wiser to buy a cheap, functional, gets-the-job-done, mass produced teapot and put your money to something you need more....like food...needs...etc.?
let me know!

p.s.: what's the definition of canadian craft?

Alabama : Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool. And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would have done if he had died, if that bullet had been two inches more to the left. To this, I always smile, as if I'm not going to satisfy him with a response. But I always do. I tell him of how I would want to die, but that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn, and that things would be much as they are now. Perhaps. Except maybe I wouldn't have named our son Elvis.

i have a button nose. sometimes i fall asleep in public places. i lovedumb shows like the o.c. and the gilmore girls. i want to live the cliche of being an art student in paris. i think my mom is one of the most unselfish people i know but i wish she wouldn't complain. i don't love tea so much as the action of "having a cup of tea". i think jazz is the perfect music for any moment of the day. i'm becoming addicted to 'cornation street'. i want to get a tattoo of a little girl on my back. i wish i could have a bobbed haircut. i love the zing in my nose when i taste wasabi. i like the word 'lush'. i used to love turquoise. i used to want to be an astronaut until i saw kevin bacon throw up in appollo 13. i think that the two most beautiful names i've ever heard are anna pavlova and florence nightingale. i once danced with a sailor. someone told me i had beautiful hair today. my eyes droop down at the corners. i used to hate the eighties. i look dumb in sunglasses. i like the smell of beach on my skin. i can shoot whiskey just as good as any guy. i don't think heels are oppressive to women. i like crumbly cheese. i wish i could organize my thoughts into a comprehensive idea. sometimes i feel like i was born in the wrong era. i like my feet. i think that there is life on other planets. if i could be an animal, i'd be a cat. i love pearls. i wish i had brown eyes. i want to learn as many languages as i can. i'm writing this because i don't want to write my review for craft history.


...would it be to much to ask it for christmas people could give me a written self-portrait? like mine above?...i know. i'm odd.

"krista is just a normal person who enjoys painting"

a long weekend spent with family. the trees are starting to turn and it's rainy but i like it. the only hitch was my uncle telling me that his dressing didn't have meat and finding out on the way home that there was italian sausage in it. that hurt my stomach and my feelings.
oh well.
i guess i can't expect my uncle to know how serious i can be.
it has been a long day of sewing, and ripping apart seams again and again. mistake after mistake. an apple for lunch and a gross, wet, muggy ride home on the bus. i have a headache but everythings good now because i've got some peppermint tea and my pj's.
now if i can just stay awake to do my readings...


type in your name and find out about yourself:
http://www.googlism.com/

we walked down the aisles. aphabet's 3 for $2.00. grapes, apples, crakers, and ice cream. he helped me with my crossword puzzles which i can't seem to put down lately. "what's a three letter word for fish stabilizer?"
i rode the grocery cart all the way down the parking lot and we sang " more than words" at the top of our lungs and like no one was looking. i heart my dad.

so, london can wait another year. i'll hang around here for another maritime spring. damp, cold and rainy.
i think it will be better for us to wait. we have so much to learn and money is getting harder and harder to come by.
london will be waiting for us.
hopefully not too long.

planetary

the skyline is two gazes long.

and i crane my neck to take it all in,

and bump my head against the windshield,

trying to find the sun.

it runs ahead of us.

i don't know what direction that is.
i want to go to faraway places,

but momentum makes my head

ponderous and heavy.

planetary rotation
is time winding down?
the light from our bodies precedes us.

i can see you craning your neck.

- rainer maria

i'll step down in all the wrong places
and i'll build up all the old bridges
won't i?
you'll say you'll never be the same.
don't ever let me forget what it was like to be young and new.
every emotion we have is felt with fresh vigor.
we're bright young things and we burn like fire.

i am moved by fancies that are curled
around these images and cling:
the notion of some infinitely gentle
infinitely suffering thing.
-t.s.eliot

something i have been thinking about the past couple of days:
if i love norman rockwell does it make my appreciation for jackson pollock less valid?
if i like modest mouse does it mean that i'm not a true fan since i like a song by britney spears?
if i like getting dressed up for a drunk night downtown does it take away from the cliche of being a nerdy bookworm art student?
i don't think so. i don't think people can be placed into categories that easily but sometimes i find myself organizing the people i see into labeled boxes. it's not right. living things were not meant to be kept in boxes.

yesterday: bianca and i vs. nscad, the sauna (aka: slide room), mysterious bus boy and watching hours of tv instead of doing homework at kathy's.
today: mysterious bus boy, 20th century craft gossip, names that we could've had and the darkroom. listening to the amelie soundtrack on the bus home.

my plans for tonight consist of pilates, maybe a movie with my brother who i never see anymore or reading 'to kill a mockingbird'.

"when i said i could do nothing in a dress, she said i wasn't supposed to be doing things that required pants. aunt alexandra's vision of my deportment involved playing with small stoves, tea sets, and wearing the add-a-pearl necklace she gave me when i was born: futhermore, i should be a ray of sunshine in my father's lonely life. i suggested that one could be a ray of sunshine in pants just as well, but aunty said that one had to behave like a sunbeam, that i was born good but had grown progressively worse every year. she hurt my feelings and set my teeth permanently on edge, but when i asked atticus about it, he said that there were already enough sunbeams in the family and to go on about my own business, he didn't mind me much the way i was." -scout, to kill a mockingbird